The Guy Who Could Talk with Women

Friday, April 30, 2013

How Women Make Friends with Each Other and How Men Befriend Each Other

Recently, I had the pleasure of being present as two women executives, who knew each other slightly, met for a second time. I stepped back to allow them linguistic space to get to know each other better. As luck would have it, the two women hit it off, and had a strong give and take with each other.

One part of their conversation impressed me in particular. Their talk soon turned to light, but bothersome, health-related annoyances. One spoke of the problem she was having with a

sinus condition for the last few days. The other reciprocated by relating the trouble she was having with a sore throat that seemed to be going away.

Afterwards, I reflected on my observation with one of the women about their health related discussion. "I talked about that because I wanted to share and to make friends," she said.

I thought this an interesting facet of the subculture of women -- sharing a vulnerability and concern with someone she had just met for the second time.

What a difference from the way us guys talk. We could be friends with one another for a century, but each time we talk, it's just the facts. We banter about what we're doing, have done, or going to do.

But talking about health-related stuff? Not on your life. Far be it for us to venture into that strange land of vulnerability.

I could be experiencing the worst day of my life. But on meeting another guy, even someone I knew, the last thing I'd talk about would be any kind of vulnerability. To the question of how I were doing, my reply would go something like, "Doing fine. Having a great day. Busy as hell, but happy. How's your day going?"

Given my subcultural upbringing, it would likely never occur to me to reveal a vulnerability.